The Pity Party has been canceled.

I have not written a post in quite awhile, the blog says since April 25th.  I have in my head written several and then started one in draft form and never published it.   The overriding theme of the posts that I wrote in my head were basically a list of things that keep me sane and things that happen to cheer me up.   I only wanted to write about positive things in life.  All the shiny, glittery, wonderful things that make me happy and make my world a better place. 

The problem is and was that as I was formulating the list, God had other plans.  Several of the things on my list were lost, plans changed, good byes were said.  Specifically, we lost our gorgeous Lab Payton, are having issues with both of the houses, got some sad news, I did not win a trial, and then just other random pains of everyday life were keeping me from having my perfectly planned life.  I have annoyed myself just by writing it.  Who did I think I was? 

  Today it occurred to me that the only constant for sure not going anywhere thing on my list of things that help me stay sane, is God.  As I walked Grady to the sitters today, the sun was beaming down on us in such a way that the perfect warmth from it felt like a hug from God.  He knows when you need a hug.  It also occurred to me that if my intention is to blog only when life is perfect and I get everything I want when I want it, and only write when things happen as I planned it to happen, I will not have very many posts. 

Life is messy, dirty, gritty, and beautiful all at the same time.  For me to only focus on the pretty is a bit naive, although I firmly believe that you cannot have positive life without a positive mind.   As I was watching my list get smaller it was hard for me to keep a positive mind.    I am lucky that the remaining people and things on the list are still there to keep me smiling and my pony tail bouncing.  

My friend Kelly, you know her already,  and I were having lunch recently.  She had a major foot surgery and some complications, that coupled with some other personal stuff,  had her in a bit of a funk.  I was in my funk and we were having a friend therapy session.  As Kelly and I were chatting and solving the world's problems she said something that really resonated in me.  She said she realized when she was having a dark moment that what brought her out of it was telling herself that it is fine to have a pity party, but you do not have to attend the party everyday.   I love that!   

For now my pity party is over and I will not be the guest of honor anymore. Not this weekend anyway, I am all booked.

This weekend it going to be busy and fun.  I will experience a lot of things for the first time.  Tonight is my first murder mystery party.   As an "out of work" actress  I am super excited to be apart of this with some fun ladies.  On Saturday, the boys have pictures in Dixon, where the proceeds are donated to help bring a little girl to her new adoptive family. Amazing.   Then I am going to Chicago to see my god daughter's dance recital.   Sunday is the big day.   13.2 miles.   This is a big first.  My trainer says I am ready.  I have a play list set and most importantly my outfit is picked out.   

Love to you all!!  Peace.

One of the things that really helped me was creating a slide show remembering Payton.  It was my form of art therapy.    Inspired by my sister in law who is an art therapist.  I can see now how powerful it must be for people who need it in far more extreme circumstances. 

Here is the link on youtube...  some people cannot work it sorry.

Payton's Life

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

All my dreams came true and it is exhausting.   Our little life we have built has been more stressful than usual the past couple of weeks/months.  I feel like I have several full time jobs.   The blog has been neglected a bit because between taxes, trying to buy our house, cleaning the house, my actual job, the boys, Easter, various birthdays, training for the half marathon and then trying to shower at some point something had to give a little bit.  Oh and apparently the family insists on being fed EVERYDAY and they want clean clothes.  Demanding little guys.       I am not complaining each one of these tasks I volunteered for and happily (most of the time) do... OK I am not a fan of doing our taxes.  I do not mind paying taxes just hate figuring it all out. 

    I learned something from this salad.  If you try to carry too much at once you will get cheese and lettuce on your phone.    Ohh  wait....  What I meant is that if you carry too much, something is going to get dropped.   In my case,  this salad and most of my housework.    


In between the busy.   We have managed to find the fun and pretty do not worry.   Here is some of the fun stuff you missed.....................

Guess who still gets and Easter basket from their Mom?  Peonies are my absolute favorite flower. 

I wouldlike  to introduce you to my "Happy Bird".  I bought her at lunch one day when I was having a particularly hard day that resulted in a couple of tears in my office.   I saw her,  loved her instantly, and decided my office needed her.   My interns named her Tiffany because she just so happens to be "Tiffany Blue".  I knew there was a reason she spoke to me.  


On one random Saturday,  the parents came and retrieved Jacob and we had a little time during the day with nothing planned.   I had some errands to run so we took Grady Baby on a little date.  This is him at Mashup Resturauant  in Rockford.  We went shopping, had lunch, dropped stuff at Goodwill and walked through a learning store.  It was sweet to have a little alone time with the Boozey Babers.

 He had a lot of fun running from us at the various stores. 

This picture makes be laugh !!!  We start our readers young in this house.  He looks like he is annoyed that I am disrupting his Go Dog Go story.  He most likely is.  

We made Smores with left over Easter Candy.  Peeps, Cadbury mini eggs, and a Hershey Kiss.  What the What!!  Delicious.

Nothing is better than getting a flower presented to you from your oldest son.  Even if he picked it from our yard :)))    

I am not fan of video games... but this is just too cute!  My boys playing Hockey together.

Ninja Sponge Bob WII ... Life is never dull.  Although I am frequently told how bored he is all. the. time.

So handsome.  Just before the egg hunt in his PJs.

 

This post is pretty random but so is my head.   Whenever I feel the pressure and the stress...  I have a little nudge from God reminding me to get some prespective.  My nudges come from getting wonderful news from my friends, a tulip from my child, a hug from my husband or sometimes even watching a super sad show on TV (Private Practice), to make me so grateful.   

He said Good Morning the other day with this.....  My van guys called it a SunBow because it looked like a rainbow but just with sunshine. 

Even when it is cloudy there is always sunshine peaking through.  You just have to look for it!

On my soap box: Work at home moms vs. Work outside the home moms. Stop the Judging.

I was taught never to discuss politics, money or religion with people.  That these are private matters that should not be discussed.  One main reason I see this as good advice is that not only do people have varying beliefs but they almost always feel very strongly about their belief.    These are the things that start wars.  Mostly in the name of religion but everyone knows that both money and politics are closely related.  The fighting starts when others try to change the mind or force their beliefs regarding whatever topic onto whom they are discussing it with.  Guess what?  It does not change people's minds.  It starts a fight and firmly plants the seeds of discord further into each person.    The negativity is overwhelming at times.

Who started the war between moms that work at home with their children and moms that go to work outside the home?  This debate has been going on since women started the fight for equality and continues today.   Yesterday the big news story was regarding comments back and forth pitting mothers that stay at home with their children versus mom's that work outside the home.  I won't get into the specifics because it is not really worth the time it is more contextual to what made me once again start thinking about this ever present issue with moms.    

 Guess what?  ALL mothers work hard and pitting us against each other continues to marginalize women.   Being a stay-at- home mom is a choice that some make or it could be that they really do not have a choice.  Same with moms that work outside the home.  Maybe the mom has to work to feed her children or maybe the mom likes having a career and being a mother too.    The point is we do not know the situation so let us not judge anyone.  We need to have each other's backs ladies, respect each other, love each other and most importantly teach the parents of the future to do the same. 

I personally, as you all know, am a mother who has a career outside the home.  I love my job.  I love being a mother.  I love helping keep the airways safe.  I love having breakfast with my children.    Did I make a choice?  Honestly, when I take a long look at my life.. I always imagined having children and at the same time I always imagined being a working mother.   Would I stay home if I could?  Maybe, I do not know.  I try not to think about it much.     Mom guilt is pretty powerful on just about every other issue we face so adding to the list is just not appealing.   

I found these lists on the Internet of things not to say to mothers...working at home or working outside the home.....  we need to start with each other if we want to change the future. 

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A WORKING MOTHER

1. It must be hard missing all those special moments every day.

2. I suppose it's smart that you're working. You know, in case your husband leaves you some day.

3. I'm surprised you went back to work. Your husband seems so successful.

4. It's cute when they call your nanny "Mama."

Also see:

• 10 things never to say to a stay-at-home mom
• Embrace the Chaos: Do working moms and stay-at-home moms really hate each other?

5. I just love my kids too much to leave them during the day.

6. Did you see Dateline ? The one with the hidden camera in the day care?

7. I could never let someone else raise my children. But that's just me!

8. I hated my mom because she was never home after school like everyone else's mom.

9. You must feel so guilty.

10. I wish I were as laid-back as you and could just let the housework go.

—Liz Gumbinner of Mom-101.com, with help from her blog readers

Top 10 Things never to stay to a work at home mom.

1. When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job?

2. How June Cleaver of you!

3. Oh, so you don't work?

4. Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow?

5. All day with your kids? I can't even imagine.

6. I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either.

Also see:

• 10 things never to say to a working mom
• Embrace the Chaos: Do working moms and stay-at-home moms really hate each other?

7. What do you do all day, anyway?

8. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.

9. That explains why your son is so clingy!

10. Weird. I assumed your house would be super clean.

—Candy Kirby of thelaughingstork.com, with help from her Twitter followers and friends

All of those comments about send me in a rage.  People are so mean to each other sometimes.  Sadly,  I have heard most of the working mom comments.   It hurts my feelings a little and then I let it go, because usually it is not meant to be mean.  Moms out there let us all just stop all the snarky comments and judgments.   Being a parent... Mom or Dad is crazy hard and amazing, support each other and this world can only change for the better.    Just in case you are wondering .... the studies pretty much show that we can mess up our kids whether we work at home or outside the home. 

 Just love the crap out of your kids, teach them right from wrong, and pray A LOT!!! 

Sweethaven Summer- Inspiration in a Book

I am a person who looks for the beauty and magic in everyday life.  Sometimes it just happens out of the blue and sometimes I have to search.    I did not have to search very hard for beauty and magic when I read A Sweethaven Summer by Courtney Walsh.    I love to read and have since I was a little girl.  Reading a book that combined several of my personal passions was so fun and exciting that I read the book in less than a day.   This was at the detriment of everything else I had to do at the time but it was worth it.   The book incorporates scrapbooking, faith, photography, friendships, and many other inspirational themes.  All of that plus a little bit of mystery and suspense into who is the main character's father.  Needless to say,  I adored the book.    It is available here at Amazon.  A Sweethaven Summer

The book and Courtney's blog Telling Stories  inspired me to examine why I scrapbook.  I created this layout to better tell my story.     The journaling reads:

Moments fade and new ones are created almost instantly.   I scrapbook to capture the important, crazy, silly, lovely, romantic, meaningful, traditional, life changing, everyday, funny, sweet, beautiful moments. 

My hope is to have my children look at their books whenever they need a reminder of who they are, where they came from, and how much they are loved and adored. 

I enjoy the feeling of sticky fingers, textured paper, and cut photos.   I love the look of the gorgeous patterned paper, embellishments, ribbon, buttons, and bling.  

 The pages of the scrapbook show that the moment was important enough to be captured and that a piece of art was created solely for the purpose of celebrating that moment.    

Blooper Reel--Do you see what is wrong.? 
Hint:  The A is Capture is backwards. 
Chris of course caught this and made fun of me:)

Friendship is a very huge theme in the book.   I have already expressed how important my friends are to me in a previous blog.   This past week I talked to one of my "forever friends"... since third grade anyway.  She helped me put some stuff in perspective and as usual we picked up where we left off like we always do.   Thanks, Brooke Derry.  Here is a page I created about us.  The bottom says, " Friends are Flowers in the Garden of Life"  Proverbs. 

Love--  I would not like a novel if love was not a significant theme.    Here are couple of layouts I created inspired by my true love. 

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Sorry for the quality of the pictures.  We were taking pictures of the layouts because we do not have a 12x12 scanner.  I think I need a tutorial on how other people get their work online.  The pages are so much cuter in person. 

I hope you all read A Sweethaven Summer, even if you are not a scrapbooker, it truly is an amazing, sweet, fun read. 

Confessions of a Super Awesome Busy Mom

*******  I wrote this post awhile ago and have edited it a lot.  I took out a bunch of stuff.    The stuff that may be funny to me and my family but not so funny to people who do not know us.  The Hubbers read it and was concerned that I was "pulling back the curtain" into my life as a mom a little too far.  Then he reconsidered after he thought about it and explained that while he is very private, he recognizes that I have always been an open book.  He also said that is why people like me.  I took the compliment and after a lot of thought of what to do... I decided to go for it.    Hopefully, I only make you laugh and not question my sanity. Hopefully, if you are mom, you will relate to my confessions and feel not so crazy because you know that you are not alone in this journey called motherhood. 

Now you have to wonder about all the stuff I did not tell you.  I am sorry, but I can tell you that no Barber boys were injured in the writing of this blog.   Also please keep in mind I love my boys more than I ever thought possible.


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Recently my niece had her first Reconciliation.  I am told this is kinda like a confession.  I am not Catholic so, I researched it, ie asked someone.   In honor of my niece Ainsley, I am confessing these Mommy sins here today. 

  I feel like Chunk from Goonies....  One time, I was at the movies and I made a puking sounds like this...blahhhhhaaahahaha and everyone started freaking out..  Ok not the actual lines, but a classic scene.  Anyway, here goes.

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When I am I tired, I will read Jacob a shorter book.

 I have let Grady eat food out of his car seat and off the floor.  (If he drops it)  I do not feed him on the floor.    Only at my house and only his car seat :)  I do have some standards.

 Some days I look forward to their 7:30 bedtime more than Christmas.  ** Ok, almost everyday.

 I told Jake I would get arrested if I left him in the car while I grabbed milk at the store.  I told him he would get arrested he if he ran in the store with the cart.

 I told the Pre-school teacher that Grandma is the one who taught Jacob the bad word.

 When the boys are taking a bath, I sit on the floor in the bathroom and relax.

 I secretly keep trying to get Jacob to make up dances with me to perform at family functions.  He will not participate. 

When I am having a concert in the car, it annoys me when this happens,
 "Mom", "Mom", Moooommmmm"....... 
" What Jacob?"
 "I want to drive a Jeep when I am older".
"Ok, Honey that sounds great. What color?"
I am really thinking this...  Seriously?  You interrupted my Broadway worthy version of Defying Gravity to tell me about a car?  Someone needs to teach this kid to recognize raw talent and to have manners.  Oh... wait.  My job.

 I have bribed the kids to eat a little tiny bit of veggies .. with an ice cream snickers bar.   

I told Jacob that I wrote the ABC song and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Jacob pronounces the L sound as a W and I do not correct him because I think it is cute.  Bonus points because he calls my mom, "Grandma Wiz". 

I secretly throw out McDonald's toys, even if they are still in the package.  

I feed my kids McDonalds.

I go to the store before I pick the boys up from the sitter.

One time I spoke in a British accent all night because I was bored. 

When Jacob beats me at fruit ninja it is not because I let him win.  I actually try really hard to win. 

I take at least one bite out the boy's cereal, sometimes more.  I buy unhealthy cereal because I like it and despite the fact that Chris and I got into one our biggest fights over unhealthy cereal when Jake was two.  Guess, who only wanted to feed him healthy cereal?  Me.  *hangs head in shame.

  We still make Jacob take a nap even though he is 6 and I know he does not always sleep.  I usually just need a break.
I allowed Chris to put this picture on Facebook and I tagged myself because I think it is funny.

and seriously,  he really does look like Chris Farley.  

I gathered up two laundry baskets full of toys and brought them to my mom's so she would, "have fun things for them to do".   It was all the toys in the house that drove Chris and I crazy. 

We have never had play-doh because I think it smells weird and makes a huge mess.

I have watched Good Luck Charlie when I was alone in bed. 

When there is a cuss word in a song I turn the radio all the way down and then turn it back up after they say it.  Girl, can't listen to the Blues Clues CD one more time.

 I often wear my pajamas, including my slippers to drop off Grady at the sitters.

We use paper plates to cut down on dishes. Sorry trees.

These confessions are sadly not all the poor choices I have made as a parent.   I am sure I have scarred the boys for life more than once and will most likely continue to do so as they get older. 

While we are on the subject of confession here are all the things that have come out of my mouth that I never thought I would say. Here is a short and very shocking list.  I am afraid that there are more out there in the ether, but here is what I remember today.

1. "Get out of the tub Jacob, Grady pooped in it again"
2. "Wait to take out your private until you are actually in the bathroom"
3. "Wow, I love your minivan"
4. "Please stop riding the dog, he is not a horse"
5. "Sorry, I can't come over that cuts right in the middle of naptime"
6. "Call me on my brother's phone, Grady put mine in the toliet"
7. "Seriously, it is not okay to eat food out of the garbage" --- See standards, people.
8. "Stop, playing with your private, it is not a toy, and no it is NOT a guitar"
9. " Hold on a minute, Grady is on top of the Kitchen table and he is eyeing the light like a trapeze"
10. " Excuse me, I just peed my pants because I sneezed"

On a more serious note...  these kids have made me laugh so hard and truly bring joy into my life.  We have been blessed with two very happy boys who have the best huge Barber smiles and whole lot of my spunk.

Sometimes you just need your Mommy.

I have had to take a break from writing due to an illness in my family.  Usually when Chris or one of the kids is sick I do my best to make them feel better.  The problem was that the sick person was me.   Last Monday I went to work with a tiny bit of a sore throat.  By 1:00 I started getting warm... you know the warm when you start asking everyone around you if they are hot too?  I had to stay home from work on Tuesday, went to the Dr. and I was diagnosed with Strep throat. 

Wednesdays I work at home, I was so sick I had to call off from work even when I can work in my PJs.  That is when it I knew it was bad.  Real bad.  I called to let my Mom know how terrible I was feeling, and that I was not any better.  A real whine fest.  When I asked her what she was doing she told me she was making cookies for me and bringing them up to me.   She made me homemade chicken noodle soup, homemade bread, and my favorite chocolate chip cookies.  This was accompanied with the mandatory 7-UP and saltines crackers.    There is nothing better than having your Mommy take care of you when your sick.  The only thing that is up there is having your Mommy take care of YOUR kids when you are sick.  She got Jiggy off the bus and walked down to pick up Grady from the sitters.  

My mom is literally one of my most favorite people in the world.  She does so much for her kids and grand kids.  Jacob absolutely adores her and his face lights up with such a pure love when he sees her, he always yells, Grandma and races to give her a hug.    She comes to his hockey games, school parties, performances, the works.  The fact that she adores my kids *she is obsessed with the Grady Baby too but he does not do much in the activity area, just makes me love her more.

This is not the first time that she has dropped whatever she is doing to come take care of me when I am sick.   My mom will always come to my rescue whether it be to help decorate the house or take care of my boys.

So being sick made me once again truly appreciate my mom and the fact that God has blessed me with her and her silly sense of humor, outgoing nature, and a flair for the dramatic.  Once when I was bed ridden with a foot injury and all my friends were going out dancing she read me an entire day by day motivation calendar as if she was a very emphatic preacher.   Picture my mom, but with a voice that sounded like Martin Luther King Jr. or another famous orator.  It cheered me up and made me giggle so hard I forgot about being disappointed for little bit.  

If I was sad or hurt, she was the first person to try to cheer me up.  She is always on my side, but not afraid to tell me when I am wrong. 

She has a knack for getting meaningful gifts for everybody, not just me.  I remember at my wedding shower I started crying and no one knew why I would be crying over an engraved cake server and knife.  They did not see that they had been engraved with little sayings from my pets.  My beloved pets.  I mean if they can talk they can order gifts right?  By the way, they had weird voices too.   One of my most favorite, gifts was made by my mom and my Pat for my birthday just this past year when I turned 29. (Ahem 34)   They made a slide show of my life and set it to music.  It stopped when I married Chris or they "gave me away".  However, as you can tell by this post and many other posts they never really got rid of me, they gained a son and two grandsons.  It makes me cry every time I watch it. 
Trying to figure out positive things about being sick is pretty hard.  It did make me settle down and rest.  It made me appreciate my husband for allowing me to be off duty when he took care of the boys every night when he got home from work. Usually we take turns.  He offered and did not even complain.  I did hear a lot of spraying going on and have not kissed him in a week.  So far Chris and Jake have been spared.  Grady was unlucky.  Poor kid.
Being sick also made me appreciate being generally a healthy person.  I still have pain when I swallow and I am quite certain that this is some alien form of Strep that is uncommonly painfully .. or maybe I am just being a bit dramatic.  What can I say,  I learned it from my mom.

Pretty in Pink!!! Cindy's Baby Shower

Pinterest paid off!!  The girls and I threw Cindy the cutest baby shower with lots of ideas that I learned about on Pinterest. It was fun to plan, craft, and create.  Here are the invitations that I handmade.  Each and everyone.  My mom actually helped with some of them, but one of them was so ugly I sent it to her because I was too embarrassed to send to anyone else.  All the invites were different but here is an idea.

The decorations were just so cute!!!  The activities included making Baby Paul a headband and a super cute mad lib poem.   The food was over the top amazing and I personally went way over my weight watchers points. Like.... enough to feed 3 of me points.  I was binging on food and pink, I am pretty sure I could not have had a better day.    Here are some of the pictures.

 

Wendy made all the flowers and bows in the basket.  There were different sizes and designs of elastic.  Each person could pick a flower or bow and design a headband for baby girl.  There were little tags we could attach to the headband so Cindy and Baby would know who made each headband.  It was so fun and cute!  I did not come up with this idea.  I saw it on Pinterest and pinned it to my Baby shower board.  In the interest of giving credit, where credit is due ..... here is the link. Inspiration from this shower.

This tulle pom pom was made by Wendy Kretsinger and I think she convinced her husband to help out too.  You can find directions anywhere online.

I made this little nugget.  It says Please Donate to Princess Paul's College Fund and there is the little piggy bank.

I decorated the white pail.  I used my Cricut to cute out the Thank You on vinyl and then I used my sticker maker on the ribbon for the inside.  I tied some ribbon to the handles and it was finished.  I put some pink tissue paper in the pail and the thank you notes.  In the frame next to it there is a little saying about helping out the parents to be by self- addressing the envelopes for the thank you notes. 

The center pieces were mason jars filled with fresh flowers.   We tied ribbon around them and put a piece of scrapbook paper underneath.  Flowers and mason jars were supplied by mom.

 The favors were supplied by Katie Spirtosanto and her daughter Tess.  The pink glasses with tulle wrapped candy on some super cute napkins. 

Kelly decorated Cindy's chair, with the hot pink tulle I scored at Hobby Lobby and some of the tulle pom poms the Kretsingers made!!

 

Josie brought this banner. We all signed it and they can use it when they bring the baby home.

Cute.

 Some of the finished headbands.

Josie made two diaper cakes.  One is a bassinet

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Cindy opening gifts.

 Josie and Tess.

 Me with a weird pose.

 Tess, Katie and Josie

 

The group... minus a couple who were cut out.

I fell in love with some marshmallows pops I found on Pinterest.  I took the idea and then went out on my own with it to make it more of a Katy creation.    I think they turned out great and very delicious.

Finished product. 

 Ingredients:

Strawberry Marshmallows

Piroulines

White Chocolate morsels

Mini-semi sweet morsels

 Cut a hole in the marshmallows and insert the cookie straw.

 Freeze for five minutes to set them together.

 I crushed up gram cracker, mini morsels and thin mints for topping. 

  After they are set, melt the white chocolate for 30 seconds, stir, 30 more seconds.  Depending on how much you put in the microwave do this until melted.

Dip the marshmallow pops in the white chocolate and quickly roll into whatever topping you want. 

With the left over white chocolate I made these pretzel rods with hot pink glitter. Super easy, cute and most importantly delicious.

 I had such a good time making all these fun and glittery projects for the shower.  The best part was doing it for someone I love and adore.